Musfirah be a student also a seller?

Hi guys! harini mus terlebih rajin menulis blog. mungkin sebab too many things happen lately and rasa macam I need to story to make me feel calmer. Yeah, it happens since I have a problem with my allowance yang tertunggak disebabkan beberapa perkara yang tidak diingini telah berlaku. Then, the problem like usual things for a new semester begins like need to buy a book, yuran, and etc. So it caused me to always thinking about how I can make money since my saving already left not more than RM100.

Right now, when I'm typing all this story, the total money on my hand only RM50.00 and I don't know how many days I can survive with that money. Mesti ada yang cakap, mintak la kat parent yela terdesak kan nak guna duit nak makan. But here's my answer is NO. A big no since I had a problem with my allowance since Dec and you know what, my parent especially my dad and my grandma already gave me much money for me to use. But I don't know maybe I need to stop assuming "I will get my allowance by a few days" because it always ends up with nothing. Until I already lend my grandma such a lot of money for my uses like makan every day, beli buku, beli keperluan asrama. So, for sure I won't lend any more money from her. She already helped me a lot seriously.

Then they might be thinking of why I don't ask my dad for money. No parent won't give their children money especially when you don't have money to eat or anything related to study. But believe me, I'm not from a rich family. My dad does grab every day to bear our family. Just hoping for his EPF to help a bit. I ever promise myself to not lending or asking for my parent money since I already got my scholarship. But Allah knows the best, that thing that I willing to not happen, already did.

My feeling right now is only, I'm thinking. Can I just be a daughter that won't trouble their family for once? hm, for now, I do really regret for over spending my money, my saving to hang out with my friends, bought anything that I want, eating anything that I'm craving for even tho the price quite crazy hm. Seriously, I do feel regret.

Now, my one and only choice to stay having money to survive until I get my allowance is, by being an agent to any food seller, cold food to anyone who needs it, from there I get some money. Even it's not banyak pun. but boleh lah for one day punya belanja makan. And you know what, the most I regret is, Why I don't apply to jaga student lounge when they needed people to stay there and just taking care the student lounge BCS I asked my friend she got RM4/hour. Can you imagine, the easiest way to get money but I let go it easily. Same goes untuk jadi cashier dekat koperasi bawah blok kitorang, I don't ask yet but I do think they already have enough people but ya I should try. Who knows, Allah wanna help me.

For every day, I just feel like, I want to cry! I need my grandma, I never work before. and today is the day where I'm officially the first time I work using my own energy. and gain profit. Seriously I'm totally exhausted.

Before this, I owned my Instashop selling a scarf. But it turned to be a loss since they are some people who already ordered to me but at last, won't pay. So, ya like people said If you wanna do business make sure you have that knowledge. But I accept whatever I did, at least after this if I wanna do any other business, I know which part I should focus more.

Talking about my first day working as a reseller. I sell kek cheese leleh. which only got me a profit for RM6. But ya Alhamdulillah at least I have money to eat for today yay! I bought from a seller around UUM then I resell it. and officially become their agent. Ya, it's not that hard but a bit tired since I do provide COD that caused me to walk from A to B to C to D to E to F block and climb a thousand stairs to deliver the food to them. but ya, it just a wonderful moment at least I did something new and I do explore one new thing for myself for this year which is I've become a reseller!

I do think if I tell my grandma I don't know what her reaction. Maybe she would mad at me or maybe she would cry or maybe she will happy to listen. I don't know but what I'm sure is, she doesn't want me to live in any hard situation like this. She always said, "if you don't have money call me and ask. I won't mad BCS I want you to eat or you might be sick."

Listen to every single word come out from her mouth just can making me cry. I don't know how I should repay her kindness to me since I was a baby. It was a huge appreciation for her. I just don't know how I would live in this world without her, I always pray to Allah, do longer her old and don't take her until I got my other strength. I would be the saddest person in this life in she's no longer in this world.

and if you ask me what the things that I really want to do in this world are, I do really want to make my grandma happy. She's my world, my everything, my soul and my life. let's pray to Allah to give her good health and cherish her life with kindness and positive vibes. Right now, I can't call her because I know, I will cry if she talks about money because I do really desperate now. So, for now. I just keep praying and send my love to him by dua'. May Allah bless you, tok. I love you more than you do 💓💓💓💓

Mushy Zaini